Endings Create New Beginnings

I shall pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”
- Mahatma Gandhi

After much contemplation, consultation with friends and a fellow blogger, and even prayer, I’ve decided to make this my final post on NuVision for a NuDay. This blog has served its purpose for my life. And it will continue to serve its purpose with others long after I have published this final post. Although I will not post any more entries here on this blog, I will leave the blog up, with the hope that the content on this blog will continue to enlighten, empower, inspire, educate, uplift, and liberate anyone that stumbles upon this site.

This blog really had a three-fold purpose. (And this is not in any ranking order.)

1. To provide me with an outlet to express my ideas, thoughts, and experiences that I’ve had as a blind woman.
There are times that it was just plain therapeutic to just get it out, whatever it was that I was feeling at the moment, even if releasing it was not going to change nothing at all. Having it here on the blog was better than having it bottled up in my head. There were times that the pain was so excruciating, but writing my thoughts gave me some relief. I can’t explain it. It just did.
And there were other times that I would come here to the blog and write about an experience that I felt was completely unique to me, an experience that made me feel foreign, different from the rest of the world. But somehow, I felt like once it was here, posted up on the blog, there was a reflecting glass, a mirror, to allow me to see that my experience may have been “unique”, but it was not foreign. It was similar to many of the experiences of others. (I really can’t totally explain it. Forgive me.)
It was also practice for me to start writing more. This blog has helped me think of myself as a writer. And since writing is definitely a segment of my calling from God, I certainly needed to see myself in that vein.
And since I know that I will one day publish a book that details my personal experiences, I really needed to get used to having my personal business on front street. This blog helped me become more comfortable with revealing some very private things, tucked away emotions, fractured imperfections, shortcomings, and vulnerable parts of myself to the world. Revealing myself, showing who I really am is a part of God’s plan for my life. So, I needed this blog to get used to that.

2. It allowed me to shed light on the experiences of a blind woman.
Basically, I started this blog and will keep it here on the net to continue to educate individuals about what it is like to be blind in this country. And that is the reason why I’m keeping the blog up. It’s an educational tool that I hope will be successful in shattering any stereotypes, clearing up any misunderstandings, and decreasing any possibilities of disability discrimination.
I felt that people needed to know that a blind person can clearly communicate ideas, use technology (the computer), and maintain a blog. So often, people think that all blind people can maybe do is play a musical instrument. Well, guess what… This blog proves that blind people have all kinds of talents that have nothing to do with a keyboard or a harmonica. (No disrespect to Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles.)

3. And the last purpose for this blog was to inspire.
I want anyone that stops here to know that they can not only make it, but they can achieve, succeed, and overcome any obstacle that is before them.
The dark moments of life often come. But keep your eyes on the One who has the power to aluminate any dark situation. He will guide you and help you see your way through the dark times of life. You don’t have to be afraid.
It is my prayer that all, who visit Nuvision, will look at my life and realize that they can face life with determination and strength. I am a winner, a champion, an overcomer. And guess what… So are you!

There are a couple of things that I would like to say before signing off.
I want to first point out that I have been blogging since March 2006. That’s pretty darn good. Yes, I know that there are some hardcore bloggers that have been putting it down for years. But I’m still proud of my three and a half year run. That’s a long time to blog consistently. And another thing… This is my 300th post. Yes, 300th… Wonderful, isn’t it?
Secondly, I want to thank my brother, Pastor Heber Brown. This brother is the reason why I ever started blogging in the first place. His blog, Faith in Action On Line, was the first blog that I ever paid any attention to. It was the first blog that I posted a comment on. And it was the first blog that ignited my passion for political blogs. Heber, was also the first blogger to link my blog in a bloggle. He also convinced me not to stop blogging 100 posts ago. He’s always been quite supportive! (I’m telling you that the brotha is alright with me.)

Let me take some time to answer some questions that you may have.

Why have you decided to stop posting content here at your blog, NuVision for a NuDay?
It was decided for me. I feel drawn into another direction, a higher place in my development. In order for me to rise to that higher place, I had to close this chapter. That has become more and more clear to me as I’ve battled within myself to keep up this blog. There is a season for everything; and this season has passed.

Will this be the last you see of Angie?
Nope… I will continue to receive comments from this blog in my personal e-mail. You’re also welcomed to contact me via e-mail at angie.braden@gmail.com. And always feel free to check out my home on the web for my speaking and training business. http://www.bradenspeaks.com It’s under construction right now. But next month, it will be up and running.

What’s next for you?
I will finish some major writing projects. I will channel my creative energy to make some money. I will finish my book. I will also launch my career as a professional speaker. Oh yeah… I will strengthen my teaching skills so that I can be a successful college instructor. (Yes, I’m teaching at a local college now. Isn’t that great?)

In closing, I wish all of you the best. Thank you for visiting the blog. Thank you for allowing me to share a piece of me with you.

NuVision for a NuDay has been my baby for the last three years. But this extension of myself will now have to stand on its own. Of course, if someone reaches out to me through this blog, I will respond. But the maintenance of this blog as it pertains to posting new content has ended as of today. Over the next two weeks, I’ll organize the posts and make them easy for people to find what they may be perhaps looking for.

With love, hope, and contentment,
Ms. Angela L. Braden
Award Winning Blogger and Upcoming Author

Am I a Dreamer or a Doer?

**I wrote this at the beginning of the year. Sometimes, it's good to revisit some of the declarations that inspired you in the past. I thought I would post it, with the hope you will also be encouraged to live your dreams. Enjoy and be inspired!!!!!!**

I've decided that this would be the year that I stop talking about
what I would like to do with my life. This will be the year that I will put action behind
my intentions and make something, anything happen. I'm fed up with
dreaming. Yeah, dreaming is good. But dreams are what they are, just a
dream. It is not a physical manifestation of what is supposed to be
accomplished in your life. Dreams are a figment of your safely constructed, carefully controlled imagination.

In my dreams, I can start a business, but never fail. I can be in
love, and never have to worry about the man of my dreams falling out
of love with me. I can be 125 pounds, and never have to get on the
treadmill. I can be a best selling author, without ever having to face
rejection from a publishing house. I can be a PH.D, without ever
having to stand before a committee to defend my dissertation. I can be
rich, without ever having to work a day in my life. To sum it up, I
can be anything in my dreams.

But in real life, I have to face my fears, face the possibility of
failure, face the reality of hard work and disappointment, face the
truth about my laziness and procrastination, face the embarrassing
fact that I sometimes overeat, and face the many possibilities that a
person may encounter when you begin an unfamiliar path towards “living”
your dreams. .

And this year, I will…I must face all of the aforementioned.
This year, I will leap out of my dreams and make my dreams apart of my reality.
I will invest my money, my time, emotions, my energy, my spirituality, my
faith, my essence into bringing forth what God intends for my life.
I will demand that the atmosphere supports this calling by positioning myself around all those that can be of service to me and my
development into the woman that I've been designed to be.
I will disrobe myself from the cloak of fear, and rise with courage, apprehending all that I know is mine.
I will soar above all that is beneath me, rather than drowning in the mediocrity that I have let decorate my life for so many years.

This year is the beginning of the rest of my life.

This year is the beginning of achievements that will blow my mind.

This year is the beginning of recommitting myself to Kingdom agendas.

This year is the beginning of never looking back.

This year is the beginning of new beginnings.

NuVision for a NuDay Celebrates the Installation of a Statue of Helen Keller at the U.S. Capitol Building

I was absolutely thrilled when I got the news that a statue of Helen Keller was installed at the U.S. Capitol's National Statuary Hall. The memorial statue of Keller is the Capitol's first ever statue to depict a person with a severe disability.

NuVision believes that this honor was absolutely appropriate for such an outstanding American. helen Keller was the first deaf-blind person to receive a bachelors degree in the United States. And she managed this amazing feat in 1904. Keller was also a internationally recognized speaker, author, and political activist. Her life has motivated so many, including myself, to not only brave the darkness of blindness, but to create a light that would luminate our personal paths, as well as others.

To read more about Helen Keller and her lifetime achievements, visit the American Foundation for the Blind's website. There you will find resources that detail the amazing life of this American hero.

"Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face." Helen Keller

Was it the blindness or the dirty panties?

I recently ran across an article about a blind woman, who hoped to have a child with the help of a fertility clinic. Turns out, the fertility clinic turned the woman down, refusing to help her have a child. The physician is said to have felt that the blind woman could not care for a baby.

According to the clinic staff, the woman had trouble "finding bus stops" and she had "dirty underwear." So, I'm supposing they thought that (If it's true...) would make her a bad mother. I don't know about the bus stop accusation... (That's probably true. A blind person is sure to not always find what they're looking for. Perhaps the dirty underwear accusation is indeed true. But I would put money on it that the blind woman wasn't the only woman that graced their clinic with soiled underwear.

They also refused to offer fertility services because she refused to hire an occupational therapist to evaluate her home, so that the doctor would feel assured that the blind woman's home was safe for a baby. (I wonder if this is something they make all of their patients do? Hmmm...) I wonder what they thought they would or would not find in the blind woman's home? I also wonder if they would next demand that the blind woman prove to the occupational therapist that she can do various housekeeping and cooking jobs within the home. I wonder if she would've had to prove that she was capable enough of dipping her child in a tub and drowning the baby the way that sighted Andrea Yates did. **So much to consider...**

Well, the fertility clinic won their case. Apparently, the courts feel that it is permissible for a clinic to refuse to help a blind woman have a baby.

Interestingly enough, the blind woman went to Iowa, and found a doctor that agreed to perform the procedure in 2001. I guess this doctor didn't give a darn about the babies he helps bring into the world. Why would any "good and moral" doctor help a "blind" woman have a baby?! Ridiculous!

Perhaps it was because the new doctor didn't notice her stank, nasty underwear...

Or just maybe, just maybe he realized that a blind woman is capable of being a good mother to a child, just as a sighted woman can be.

Side Note: I also wonder if this woman could have possibly been discriminated against because of something more than blindness. For instance, I wonder how much her race and sexuality played a part in the decision to not give her a child. All too interesting... I should definitely follow this case.

My Issues with Public Restrooms

My germaphobic tendencies cause me to really hate public restrooms! but what i hate more is when I "need" to use the restroom, but I'm not with any of my family or friends to assist me to get to the public restroom. For example, when my mother was in ICU, the restrooms were out in the waiting room. So, when I would visit her, I would just have to hold it until someone from my family arrived at the hospital. This is why I'm always glad when Mama is in a regular hospital room. And its an added bonus when she's in a private room. I can use the restroom, without having to "hold it", wait on family to arrive, or just swallow my pride and ask a stranger to take me.

Stress has the power to strengthen you or destroy you. Which will it be? (Part 3 of 3)

**I know I should've written this weeks ago. Sorry! I've just been overwhelmed with responsibilities. Thanks for being patient with me! Well, here goes.**

The next morning, I got up from my bed, not knowing if that day would be the day that my mother's life would end or continue. Either way, I was trying to prepare myself for what was to come. No matter how much I wanted my mother to fight, to live, to survive...I mostly wanted her to be in the center of God's will for her life. And if that meant it was time for her to pass from this world to a world untouched and unseen by the living, I needed to find a way to deal with that. So, I began to pray.

I prayed and reflected while taking a bath. I prayed some more as I got dressed. I prayed while I was eating breakfast. And I prayed even more as we drove from Humble to Houston's medical center to see my mother.

We arrived at the hospital, and went straight to her room. I expected to find her in the bed with the breathing machine working hard to assist her with staying alive. But instead of finding Mama in the bed, slipping between the cracks of time and timelessness, I found my mother sitting in a chair, eating her breakfast.

"Mama? Wow! You're eating breakfast?" That's all I could say.

She was awake, but she was quiet. She was eating, but she was still. She was living, but she was still not sure if she wanted to live.

I talked to her about what was going on with her health. I explained to her how much she needed dialysis and a blood transfusion to live. I strongly suggested that she consider the grandchildren. I told her to think about me. Likewise, I told her how much I needed her in my life. Although she was quite hesitant and a bit confused, she agreed to get the treatment.

A couple weeks later, after the treatments had started to create changing results for the better, my mother was sitting in her ICU room, enjoying her family. I smiled at her, and told her over and over how glad I was that she was doing better. Because I, along with my other family members, were telling her that continuously, she finally asked us what happened to her that was so bad. I explained to her that she almost died, and that she told the doctors to let her die. Mama was shocked. She gtold me that she was glad that she was still living. And of course, I was glad.

I learned a few things from this experience.
1. Life and death are in the hands of God, only.
2. One should never make a major decision when tired.
3. We don't know the true limits of our strength until we're put in the position to access more of it than usual.
4. We should fight until the very end.
5. Encouragement is not necessary unless the person needs some courage in a frightening, uncertain situation. And when the person needs it, the people that love them need to be willing and able to provide the encouragement.
6. Life is to be lived.
7. The time of death may be uncertain to the living, but it is not with God.

My mother is still in the hospital. She's been there for 67 days. I'm hoping that we will be able to bring her home in a few days. But if we don't, if she never comes home to me, if she goes to heaven from the hospital, and even if she comes home and then goes to heaven... I TRUST GOD!

Stress has the power to destroy you or strengthen you. Which will it be? (Part 2 of 3)

Perhaps a couple hours after I called for the family to come to the hospital to see their dying loved one, the grandchildren arrived with their parents. Because the hospital staff pretty much thought that Mama would soon be dead, they allowed the kids, who were all beneath the age requirement, to visit with their granny in the ICU.

By this time, the breathing device that they had Mama on was really helping her breathe better. And the result of better breathing was more oxygen in her blood. Likewise, the result of more oxygen was greater coherence. Mama was awake! I was so afraid that she would not be able to know that the kids were by her bedside.

All three of the kids stood around her bed with concerned looks on their innocent faces. My mother peered at the kids over the massive oxygen mask that covered her nose and mouth. I hoped that seeing them would remind her why living was important. She held their hands as they spoke to her in their fearful, yet faith-filled voices.

Then shortly after the kids visited with Mama, her personal physician arrived to speak with her. He came as her doctor, as well as her friend. He advised her to give the dialysis a try and to go ahead and have the transfusion. Knowing her history, Dr. Simms defied the recommendation of death from the other doctors. He felt that despite Mama’s tiring soul, she could overcome this major health challenge. I stood at her bedside while he was talking to her, nodding my head, showing her that I fully supported Dr. Simms’ advice.

Finally, after seeing the kids and after talking with her loving doctor, my mother decided to sign the consent to have the transfusion and the dialysis. My heart was glad! However, my heart was also conflicted. I honestly wasn’t sure if I wanted Mama to live for me, or to die for herself.

I had so much to consider. If Mama was to die, I would have to plan a funeral. I wasn’t in the mood for that. But is anyone when that time comes?

If Mama was to die, I would have to figure out what I was going to do about a monthly income. I had given up my professional income twice in the last seven years to take care of Mama. If she was to die, I would then be left even more broke, simply because her annuity would die with her.

I thought about the house that at the time of purchase was such a blessing to us. If Mama was to die, I would have enough insurance money to pay the mortgage for 2 years. After that, I would either have to pay it myself or put the house up for sale.

As a woman with a significant disability, I shuttered at the thought that getting ajob to take care of myself would likely not come as fast as I would need it to. And I would be left with only one parent to make sure that my needs were met in the meantime. Then suddenly, fear gripped me even tighter.

I wondered if I was thinking about myself over Mama's right to choose to live or die. However, there was nothing in my body and mind that could allow me to passively stand by as my mother chose to give up. Yes, she was tired! Yes, she wanted to die! But we can't cash in our ticket, just because we're ready to go. That's not how it works. And you know who taught me that? My Mama!!!

Livinglife with a chronic illness and/or disability often comes with feelings of weariness and thoughts of a final resting place. So, I was no stranger to this feeling. But I happen to think that disability is not the end of the road. So, one of the reasons why I rejected the doctors' advice was because I, a woman with a disability, understand the struggles of living with illness and disability. And I believe that each of us have the power to overcome these feelings of weariness if we lean on God and loved ones. So, that's what I was doing. I was standing by as a loved one, who didn't want my mother to give up on living, just because she was disabled and sick.

So much to think about! So many things to consider!

I shook myself and reminded myself that Mama’s life or death was in the hands of the One we call God. I reminded myself that my life was also in His hands. There was no need to be afraid, anxious, or depressed. There was no need to feel like Mama was giving up. Because if it was indeed her time to leave us and go meet with God, the decision rested with the One who sculptures both life and death.

I went to bed with one prayer. May God’s will be done in Mama’s life. I didn’t pray for her healing. I didn’t pray for her suffering to end. I simply prayed that God’s will be made perfect in her life. And if that meant that she was going to live or die, I would have peace in knowing that God was in control.

**This is the second of three posts on this subject. Stay tuned for the third installment. I should have it written in a couple days.**

Angie Braden